he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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