This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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