We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
