youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
