I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
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