Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
