I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
