jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
