why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
