I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
