i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
You ruined the universe
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
