I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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