Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
