i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
