I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
