I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Randomize
