Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
