hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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