Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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