I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
