Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I think i peed on brittanys purse
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
