Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
