So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
