we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
