so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
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