But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Randomize
