I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
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