small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
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he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
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If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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