Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
