Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
