I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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