I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
i now understand why vodka
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
