I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
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