go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
