Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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