i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Damn victory sex feels great
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Randomize
