i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
