please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
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