She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Do vagina's smell?
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
