I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
