i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Randomize
