Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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