Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
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