The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Holy shit dude........stairs
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
