the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
