Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
