Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize