I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
