I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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