I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
