he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Randomize