I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
ttyl tear gas
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize
