She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Randomize