don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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