Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Randomize
