Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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