I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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