help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
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