do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize
