I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
