omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize
