how can u be prego again
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
