If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Randomize
